I wrote because I loved storytelling and of course photography. The blogverse was an immensely inspirational space. I kept writing without any expectation in return but my joy knew no bounds when I got invited for my first bloggers meet, the launch of Skyscanner in India. I was pregnant AF and ready to pop but that opened my eyes as to what this universe was about.

As years passed by , I carried on blogging (both organic and sponsored) along with my full time clinic and motherhood. In 2017, I realised that I am slacking on my child's upbringing and missing out on those precious moments because I was so consumed in both of my jobs. I realised that slogging at other's establishment won't help me; other than clinical work experience. Also, I was beginning to fathom the sky high potential of blogging. So I quit my job, started my own part time clinic and concentrated on blogging. Initially it was isolating as it was my first tryst with self employment and sometimes very frustrating too, as there was no fixed paycheck. However, I started falling in love with the independence and flexibility in my life. 

I consider the year 2018 to be my happiest self. My elder one turned 4, I conceived my 2 nd child and did the best campaigns of my life with the brands I love. I got featured in AD shoots and my future looked really promising. Come 2019, I was with a new born and I got many campaigns of a new mother. I was a seasoned mom blogger by then, but the industry had already started shifting from the web to Instagram.

I started earning more from Instagram than my blog baby and this required more presence in front of the camera. Event appearances had to be made and it was more about shoots than writing. It was definitely challenging with a new born and a toddler but immensely satisfying nevertheless. I was immensely grateful that I was living my dream life by being my own boss .

The next year, the unprecedented pandemic struck. Weirdly, it was a boost for my career. I was extremely struggling on the household front, juggling a household of 6 single handedly and my influencer career was the only thing that was taking care of me (in the form of money, goodies and creative challenges). However the industry took an 180 degree turn with the explosion of reels. Now everyone wanted reels at the price of static posts. However, it was novel and no one was complaining.

2021 was the biggest year of my influencing career in terms of campaigns done and money earned. Even my father was astonished when he was filing my ITR. Anyways, that was the year by end of which the world again started doing events and appearances became mandatory. And the glitterati of the social circles had turned into influencers.

From 2022, work from home became almost minimal. And the fakeism in the influencer world started rising. Mom bloggers started borrowing young children from neighbours and friends for campaigns. Fake engagement started roaring (God knows why pump so much money to show engagement) and shallowness reached its maximum depth. It was not about expression or personal views anymore, only glitz and glamour and the ability to invest. 

Fast forward 2024, 90% of my colleagues(who started around my time) have quit. In this journey of 11+ years, I have witnessed big blogging communities getting dissolved, agencies being shut down and blogger friends quitting. Out of the innumerable accolades and achievements, I have faced multiple setbacks, but never for once I considered quitting, except for this week.

The mommy blogger industry has been taken over by filthy rich women who just happened to give birth. They neither take care of their kids or household, nor do any motherly activities. I don't have any grudge towards privilege, but when does money equate to being the most inspirational mother? Most of us mommies are REALLY working hard, trying to balance motherhood and career and maintaining sanity in between. Most of us don't have an army of help: read nanny, cook, full time maid, make up artists and a social media management team. The very reason why the influencer industry boomed was for its "REALNESS" and ironically, it's the fakest section of the society.

So this very big yet controversial brand (whom I have supported since day 1) organised a huge meet in Gurgaon, after 5 years. Their first meet was way back in 2018, celebrating 125 years of their brand. They flew me and my little one to Mumbai, we stayed in Renaissance, and it was fantastic. After that, we (me and Mohi) flew to Mumbai twice, and had loyally supported the brand, not just worked with them. Because most of the mommy bloggers I know, they don't use their products on their kids, they attend events only for the money. I didn't attend this event because they refused to pay me my worth. Of course they paid lakhs to the "Real mums".

Now this kind of double standards have plagued the entire industry. The "successful" mommy influencers don't write their script, they have scriptwriters. Of course they don't shoot or edit. They don't even do their hair and makeup! They have thrown their money at literally everything in trying to portray a "real life" on screen. These mommies who can't even lift a spoon, get the biggest cooking and cleaning campaigns. That's what the brands want. 

Never before in my life have I doubted my capabilities so much. I have come to realise that I just need to have resources to make things work, not talent. So why not I put all my resources into building a nursing home which will help the society instead of something so superficial! I have stayed in this field for my love for creativity, but it's just becoming way too stressful for me. It's better that I stress over on my patient's health rather than how to look a certain way or my reel insights. 

Maybe this is my midlife crisis speaking. Or maybe I should seriously quit. I accept defeat. Rant over. 

PS I will continue writing nevertheless because this is who I am. 

This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2024.